Walt Disney World is a major paradox, at least in terms of how much I enjoy it. Despite the high percentages of commercials, kitsch, pandering, marketing, and just damned bad ideas, I find the park an enormously entertaining diversion. While I consider myself negative and cycnical, and find most Disney films excremental, I am absolutley addicted to the park experience.

But then, I'm not pushing a stroller full of life support equipment for a bunch of 2 year olds, or part of a group of 80 people wearing the same shirts, trying to decide which ride to go on. If you fit my demographic - wary, cynical, intelligent, picky about your entertainment, yet fond of cartoons and amusement parks - this guide is for you.

Even if you don't fit that description, the guide can still be useful. As I have no ulterior motives, I can be brutally honest about the quality and value of attractions. That may save you some time and aggravation.
However, it may be most enjoyable if you've already been to the park, and just want to have some laughs about it.

This guide is not authorized or supported in any way by the massive and frightening Walt Disney Corporation.

General Info

Magic Kingdom

Disney/MGM

Animal Kingdom

Epcot